Relationships
“Do we just need to break up?”
At this point, we all pretty much know that relationships are not the happily- ever-after that’s been sold to us in fairytales and romantic comedies. Our partners won’t save us from our existential fears and or provide a magic solution to our attachment wounds. But that doesn’t mean that your relationship has to be endlessly difficult either. If it’s starting to feel like more struggle than joy, it might be time to seek help.
Maybe this sounds familiar… You and your partner aren’t getting along. Things that used to be easy and fun have begun to feel like work. Attempts at communication often lead to arguments or shutting down. And the arguments are happening more and more frequently. The sex isn’t what it used to be, if it’s even happening at all. One or both of you are starting to question the relationship. It’s starting to feel difficult to remember what even attracted you to your partner in the first place. Maybe this is further complicated because you have a house together, kids, pets, or other important things you share. Maybe there are even more complex issues going on like addiction, mental health problems, codependency, or infidelity.
“This doesn’t feel like it’s working anymore...”
Arguments and communication problems
Imbalances in division of housework or family responsibilities
Misalignments in values and life direction
Disagreements about sex and/or time spent together
Trust or control issues
Infidelity or cheating
Codependency or unhealed attachment wounding
Addiction or mental health concerns
On again/off again relationships
Break-up or divorce
Some common relationship struggles
The path to a renewed connection.
If you’re having relationship problems, there is a way to find resolution. Whether you come into counseling on your own for individual counseling or with your partner for couples counseling, we can find the way through your current struggles. We will start by helping you (or you and your partner) discover more about your style of relating and what strengths and fears you are bringing to the relationship. Then, we will work on helping you improve communication surrounding these concerns so that you will increasingly hear and be heard by your partner. This will help you to determine what changes you can make to help you both grow closer together rather than pushing each other further away. As we are completing these steps, we will work on techniques to renew your bonds with one another as well as your bond with yourself.
What about a break-up or divorce?
If you or your partner has decided it’s time to stop trying, I can help with this transition. Endings are difficult, but there are ways to find peace during this transition. This can often be a time of growth and exploration once you get through the initial grief, resentments, and betrayal that often come with a break-up. We will find the way to restore you back to yourself.